Help Me Fall

I have been trying
For eternity
To deny
Any feelings
I might have
Hiding behind shield
I created

Floating high above
This world
On a cloud
Of pain
Of my making

Trying to pretend
Nothing mattered
But myself
Now I stand
At the brink

Teetering on edge
Of abyss
Wordless empathy
Of past
Reminisce of time

One foot lifting
To take a plunge
Barely holding on
To my net
Do I take the fall?

Part of me barren
Terrified of finding out
Truth
Staying silent
For shelter

Closing eyes
Taking last breath
Clenching hands
Reaching out
Do I plummet?

Or do I fly?
Endurance do I have?
Or none at all

Conversations in floods
Suppressed by silence
Deep inside
Talk it out
Among myself

"I have been trying"
To never feel this way
Eternity abound
"Not to care"

Petrified I would find this
Horrified I would not
Which is which
I no longer know
"Help me fall"

Final step
Decision time
Do I trust?
Or do I lie
"Do I care?"

"Help me fall"
Endeavors silent soul
Perched on edge
Of mistrustful mist
If you care at all
Won't you help me fall?

Paradox of words
Entangled in one mind
Learn to trust
Not sure I can
Keen
To learn
If you can
Clarify

Will you take the time?
Swallow your impatience
"Help me fall?"
I need the hand
To reach out to
Before I take final step

Closing eyes
Grasping for life
Lifting arms to sky
With no other word
I take a plunge
Will I plunge for eternity more?
Or will you
"Help me fall?"